


The Twelve Days of Christmas

by Toni_Lynne



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Smut, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 05:24:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12834231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toni_Lynne/pseuds/Toni_Lynne
Summary: This was part of a challenge on Tumblr. Each day I had to include two items, and those items are the titles of each chapter.





	1. Wreaths & Socks

“Miss Lady ! Miss Lady!” you heard from behind you as you started wrapping the lights around your large front door wreath.  You turned to see the younger of the two boys who lived next door running up to you.

“Hi Sam!” you said brightly. 

“Whatcha doing?” he asked.

“Decorating for Christmas.   I just finished putting my tree up and now I’m hanging my wreath.  What are you doing?”

“Playing outside,” he said, kicking snow with his boot. “Dean’s at school and dad’s doing something in the basement.  I’m bored.”

You smiled at the small boy.  You knew from a previous conversation with his brother Dean, who was a very mature 9, that Sam was 5 years old.  You had first met the boys a few weeks ago, not long after they moved in, when their ball ended up in your backyard and they knocked on your door to get it. Since then they came over whenever they saw you out. You got the impression they were lonely.  You had yet to meet their father and they didn’t mention a mom.

“Do you want to help me finish hanging up the wreaths?” you asked him.

“Yes!” he exclaimed, running up to hold the wreath while you wrapped lights.

While you worked together he talked about Christmas and Santa.  You smiled while he chatted until he said something you found strange. “…. and then Dean begged dad so we finally get to stay in once place for the holidays and now Santa will know where to find us!”

“Do you move around a lot?” you asked him.

“All the time,” he replied. “Dad’s a hunter. But I don’t know what that means yet. Dean says I’m too young to know.”

You were wondering if his dad was maybe in the military when Sam looked down and started laughing. 

“What’s so funny?”

“You don’t have any shoes on and it’s cold out here!” he exclaimed.

You looked down at your pink fuzzy socks and laughed as you wiggled your toes.  “I guess I forgot.”

“Who forgets shoes Miss Lady?“ Sam questioned. 

“Please call me Y/N.  Miss Lady makes me feel old.”

“Sam! Are you bugging the neighbor?” you heard and you turned to see an older, dark haired man standing in the driveway next door. 

“He’s not bothering me at all, he was helping me put up wreaths,” you explained, getting up and walking over.  “We haven’t met yet.  I’m Y/N.”

The man stared at you for a moment before finally taking your hand and shaking it. “John Winchester.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you.   Your sons are wonderful. They are welcome over anytime.”

He nodded, slowly letting go of your hand. “Are you sure they aren’t bothering you?”

“Not at all!” you answered, smiling at him.   

He smiled back and you felt your knees wobble a little. He had the most incredible smile you had ever seen. He had the most incredible everything you had ever seen.  His eyes, his smile, those long fingers.   He had a heavy leather coat on but you could tell that underneath it he was in good shape. You swallowed heavy. You were not checking the boy’s dad out.

“Well we need to pick Dean up from school.  Come on Sam,” he said, opening his truck door.

“Bye Sammy, thanks for your help,” you said, waving at him before turning to his dad. “It was really nice to meet you.”

“It was nice to meet you too Y/N,” he replied with that smile again before climbing in his truck.

 


	2. Patterned Pajamas & Cold Days

The next day you were pouring your second cup of coffee when you heard someone knocking on your door.   Slowly setting the cup down, you went into the living room and peeked through the curtain.

Sam and Dean were standing on the front porch and behind them was their father.  _John._   You fixed your shirt and ran your hands through your hair before opening the door. “Hey.”

“Hi Y/N.  Sorry to bother you so early but I was hoping to ask you for a huge favor,” John said right away.  You could tell by his body language he was under  pressure and in a hurry.

“Sure.  But come inside guys.  It’s so cold out there,” you said, waving them in. The boys ran in right away but John hesitated on the doorstep.  “Please? I don’t want to let this cold air in the house.”

He gave you a small smile and stepped inside.  Shutting the door you turned to him, “So what do you need?”

“I would never do this but it’s an emergency.  I have a friend a few hours away who is in trouble and needs help and the only babysitter I have in town won’t take kids over the weekend.”

“I don’t see why we can’t go see Uncle Bobby with you,” Dean grumbled, throwing himself on the couch.

“Because I said so. And don’t mess up her furniture Dean,” John snapped.

“I’m nine years old. I don’t need a babysitter,” he sassed back.

Ignoring Dean, John turned back to you. “I may not be back until the middle of the night or tomorrow.  I’ll pay you”

“I didn’t have any big plans today, I was going to work from home a little bit and then watch Christmas movies, they are more than welcome to stay.”

You could see the relief in his face. “I owe you,” he said, taking his house key off his key ring.  “Here, they will probably be happier sleeping at home.   Dean can help you make up a bed on the couch if I don’t get back until morning.  I really appreciate this.”

“It’s no problem, I promise,” you assured him.

John pulled the boys aside and said something to them, and then with a hand on both their heads and another smile in your direction he was gone.

* * *

 

The day went by quickly.   The boys played outside and threw snowballs at each other while you sat at the kitchen table and got some work done.   After a lunch of soup and grilled cheese you played cards together.  They wanted to go back outside so you bundled them up and sent them back out.  When the sun started to set you called them in. “What do you say we head back to your place and settle in for PJs and Christmas movies?”

“PJs?” Sam asked, wrinkling his nose.

“You know, your sleeping jammies?” you explained.

“We sleep in sweatpants and t-shirts,” Dean replied. “We don’t have jammies.”

“Well then it looks like we are going to the store first. You absolutely cannot watch Christmas movies without matching Christmas pajamas.”

Walking out of the store an hour later loaded down with snacks, popcorn, and three pairs of matching snowman print pajamas you heard Sam lean over and whisper to Dean, “It’s so normal.”

You wondered again what kind of life the boys and their father led. “Hurry up and get in the car guys, its cold out!”

* * *

 

“What movie next?” you asked Dean quietly, Sam had already fallen asleep, his little head in your lap.

“What about ‘How The Grinch Stole Christmas’” he replied, holding up the original cartoon.

“Wonderful selection.  After this it’s bedtime,” you said, noticing him yawn.

Dean nodded and put the movie in before curling up against your side to watch. 

An hour later you had both boys in bed and you quietly walked downstairs, looking around the unfamiliar home.  It was very under-decorated, just basic furniture and lamps.  Walking into the kitchen to make a cup of tea you saw one of John’s shirts draped over the back of a chair.  You brushed your fingers over it and caught a whiff of leather.

Hurrying to make your tea, you took the top of your snowman PJs off, leaving you in a white tank top and the bottoms.  It was warm in the house and you had one of Dean’s blankets to curl up with on the couch.

You settled back into your spot and turned on ‘White Christmas’.

You were engrossed in the movie when you heard the front door.  Jumping, you turned quickly to see John come inside. “You scared me.”

“Sorry, I was trying to be quiet in case everyone was asleep,” he replied.

“The boys are in bed. I was finishing a movie,” you explained.

“You can go home now. I appreciate your help,” he said.

You were taken back by his quick dismissal. “Okay, let me grab my bag and coat.”

When you came back from the kitchen you saw John leaning against the living room wall, his hand over his chest. “Do you need me to walk you home?” he asked, teeth gritted.

“No, I can manage. Are you okay?”

“Yes. Goodnight,” he grunted.

That’s when you noticed the blood on his hand and t-shirt. “Oh my God, you are bleeding,” you hissed, dropping your bag and running to his side. “What happened?”

“I had a run in with a barbwire fence while chasing a…….stray dog.”

“Let me see,” you demanded, pulling his hand back and looking at the lacerations in his shirt and chest. “We need to clean this up right away so you don’t get an infection.   Do you have a first aid kit?”

“I think there is one in the upstairs bathroom,” he said as he went into the kitchen.   You quickly ran upstairs and got the kit, along with the rubbing alcohol you found and some clean towels.   Joining him in the kitchen you saw he had a whiskey bottle out and had already filled two glasses.

He nodded towards one in a silent invitation for you to have a drink. “Maybe after I clean this up,” you said. “Sit down and shirt off please.”

John sat down at the kitchen table and pulled his shirt up over his head, wincing at the pulling on his chest.    You mouth went dry and you could feel your pulse racing as you took in his upper body.  Just as you suspected he was in good shape and you wanted nothing more than to run your fingers through the hair on his chest. But the red welts grabbed your attention quickly and you were able to focus.

“It’s not deep so I don’t think you need stitches.  The big thing is cleaning this up,” you babbled as you worked, trying to distract yourself from the fact you were kneeling between his legs and inches from his gorgeous chest.  John was slamming down whiskey like you had never seen anyone do before.  Within ten minutes he had done at least five or six shots and you could see the glazed look in his eyes already.

“Cute snowmen,” he said, his hand reaching down to pull at the material of your pants, and you felt fire where his hand brushed your thigh.

“The boys each have a pair also. Matching pajamas for Christmas movies,” you explained.

“I feel left out, don’t I get a pair of matching pajamas?” he asked playfully, letting go of your pants and grinning.

You looked up at his face and saw his tongue poking out of his mouth as he grinned at you.  You could smell the whiskey and you stood, backing away from him. “That should do it.  Just be careful for a couple days and maybe put some more ointment on in the morning,” you said, quickly washing your hands.

You grabbed your purse and coat. “Goodnight John,” you said softly.

“Don’t you want some whiskey?” he asked, nodding towards the second glass he had poured.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you replied, walking out of the house and away from the temptation.  You knew better than to make a drunken mistake with a mysterious man.  Even if he did have a chest to die for.

 


	3. Scarves & Christmas Cookies

It was early when you climbed out of bed the next morning.   You barely slept after leaving the Winchester’s, your mind choosing to focus on John’s tongue darting out of his lips combined with the smell of whiskey and leather instead.  You were a damn fool to have a crush on your neighbor. It was ridiculous.

You needed to focus. Today was your designated cookie day and you needed to make and decorate dozens of cookies for a charity bake at work. Going through your cupboards you made a grocery list and set out to pick up what you needed.

It was when you were home and faced with carrying all the groceries in that you realized you bought way more than you needed, including two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Christmas scarves for Sam and Dean.  You weren’t sure why you did it, but when you saw them on the display rack you right away thought of the boys and picked them up without giving it much thought.

“Would you like some help?” you heard a deep voice behind you say. 

Jumping, you banged your head on the roof of the trunk. “Fuck!” you yelped.

“Are you okay?  I didn’t mean to scare you,” you heard John say, his hand landing on your shoulder as he walked around your body to face you.

You could feel your cheeks getting red and you hoped he would think it was from the cold. “I’m okay.  Sorry.”

“My fault,” he said, dropping his hand. “I was getting the mail and saw you had a lot of bags. Thought I would help since I owe you one.”

“Sure, that would be great,” you said with a small smile, grabbing a bag and starting for the back door.

Once all of the groceries were inside John lingered in the doorway as you started unloading your bags. “Cookies?”

“Yeah.  I always make a lot of cookies for a charity at work. It’s a full day’s job at least.”

John shifted and you could tell he was slightly uncomfortable. “I wanted to say thank you.  For staying with the boys yesterday.  They haven’t stopped talking about their pajamas and Christmas movies.  They really like you.”

“They are wonderful! I adore them and they are welcome to come over and watch Christmas movies anytime they want.   As matter of fact what are you guys doing today? Would they have any interest in making cookies and decorating them?”

“They’ve never made Christmas cookies.   They were too young when their mom passed….” he trailed off and you could see the pain in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you said gently. “I didn’t mean to bring up….”

“No, it’s ok,” John said quickly.  “I have a feeling they would love to help with the cookies. But are you sure they won’t be in your way?”

“Not at all! Please bring them over.  And you are more than welcome to stay and help also.”

“I don’t think I’ll be much help, but I’ll go get the boys,” he said, stepping out the backdoor.

While he was gone you put away the rest of your groceries and set out bowls of sprinkles, cookie glitter, icing, and googly eyes for the cookies.

“Y/N!” Sam cried as he ran in the door ahead of his dad and brother. “Do we really get to help you make cookies? Can we keep them?”

You laughed. “Yes you get to help.   You can’t keep them all but you can take some.”

“Behave and when Y/N tells you it’s time to come home you listen to her, okay?” John said, his hand on the doorknob.

“Aren’t you going to stay dad?” Dean asked, looking up from the pile of cookie cutters at his dad.

“You two will be plenty of help, I’m going to go home and get some things done,” John explained.

Dean’s shoulders slumped as he looked down at the counter. 

You turned to John. “Actually I don’t think we have enough people.  The boys can’t decorate all these cookies on their own.  We could use another elf.”

John studied you for a moment before looking at his sons and seeing the hopeful expressions on their faces.  “There better be a nutcracker shaped cookie cutter in there,” he said, shrugging his coat off and stepping up to the counter.

* * *

 

Three hours later you had Christmas music playing on the stereo, the boys were wearing their new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle scarves inside while they decorated cookies, and your kitchen was covered in flour, icing, and sprinkles.   It was the happiest you had felt in ages.  You were reminded of your childhood Christmases and wondering how you would go back to doing this task alone next year.

John was helping Sam outline a bell with yellow icing while you and Dean decorated a Christmas tree. 

“Today was the best day,” Sam announced, looking up with a grin, yellow frosting still on his lips from where he snuck a bite.

Dean didn’t say anything, but the bright smile on his face told you that he agreed with his brother.  John was grinning as well, and you could see he looked more relaxed than you had seen him so far.

The boys were boxing the cookies up in your dining room while John helped you wash down the counters in the kitchen a few minutes later. 

“How is your chest doing?” you asked him, pointing to where he was hurt last night.

“It’s nothing. I’ve felt worse,” he said.

“Oh,” you paused for a moment, not sure how to respond. “I’m glad you stayed today, I had a lot of fun.”

“I’m glad I stayed also,” he said, licking his lips as he studied you. 

You took a deep breath when John took a step forward, now only inches from you, his eyes on yours. 

“I’m ready for bed dad,” Sam said, stepping into the kitchen and rubbing his eyes.

John broke eye contact to look at his son and you exhaled, stepping around the counter.  “You guys go home, I can take care of the rest. It’s just the sweeping and taking the trash out now.”

“I’ll take the trash out on my way home,” John said, avoiding eye contact.

“Thanks,” you muttered.

“Night Y/N!” Dean said, surprising you when he wrapped his arms around your waist.

Hugging him back, you felt him squeeze you.   “Thanks for your help today Dean.”

“Thank you,” he said, smiling as he took his brothers hand and they followed their dad out the door.

 


	4. Christmas Lights & Hot Chocolate

You drank your hot chocolate as you looked out the kitchen window.   A layer of ice covered almost everything from the overnight weather and you sighed when you saw a strand of your lights had fallen from the roof and were drooping over the window.  You were not looking forward to going out in the cold to fix them.

Taking a sip of the warm liquid, you let your gaze wonder over to the Winchester’s house.  John’s big truck was sitting in the driveway, coated in ice, and the boys had left a sled near the front step.  You didn’t see anyone moving around though.  Realizing you were being creepy, you quickly turned from the window and walked into your bedroom to find some warmer clothes.

Decorating cookies with the boys and John yesterday you felt like a small family and it was a nice feeling, even if it was completely false.  Living on your own and having not dated much in the last couple years you didn’t realize just how lonely you were until the last few days.  You had always wanted children and the Winchester boys were wonderful, full of energy and laughter.  And their dad was incredibly sexy, even if he was still a mystery to you. His wife must have passed away when Sam was still a baby, he moved his boys around a lot, and you still didn’t know what he did for a living.  Just that his sons referred to him as a ‘hunter’.  You hadn’t ruled out military yet.

And what about that step he took towards you last night? If Sam hadn’t come in what would have happened?  And why did he seem so closed off after that? And why did you care? You had sworn off any type of flirting with the neighbor.

Sighing, you slipped a sweater, jeans, and warm socks on before going to grab your coat, scarf, boots, and gloves.  The minute you stepped out the front door you slipped and fell, slamming your bottom against the concrete.

“Damn it,” you muttered, getting up and dusting yourself off.  Slowly making your way down the ice covered steps you walked around to the side of the house and saw the strand of lights had fallen across the entire side and back, not just across the window.  You debated leaving it, but you wouldn’t be able to use the back door so you knew you had to fix it. 

Trying not to slide and fall down again you went to the back shed and grabbed your ladder, dragging it behind you to the side of the house.  Climbing up, you realized you were going to have to get on the roof to bring the lights back up, there was no way you could reach the hooks from the ladder. 

You made it up safely, but the minute you set foot on the roof you slipped and almost fell, barely regaining your balance.  Biting your lip you slowly reached down and pulled the lights up, tucking the first few feet back into their hooks before trying to stand to move over.

“What the hell are you doing?” John asked, and you looked down to see him standing in your yard looking up at you.

“Trying to fix my lights so I can use my backdoor,” you explained.

“Get down. Its solid ice up there, you are going to hurt yourself.”

“I’m doing just fine,” you responded, taking a step forward and slipping. Ironically, you knew you weren’t going to regain your balance this time and you felt yourself falling backwards from the roof.

Warm arms caught you before you could hit the frozen ground.  John stumbled a little, but he didn’t fall.  “I told you that you were going to hurt yourself,” he said with a small smile. 

You blushed, “Thanks for catching me.”

John put you down gently. “Why don’t you let me finish fixing these?”

“I can get them,” you said but John was already up the ladder.  Being taller and with longer arms, he was able to loop them into the hooks without getting on the roof and within 10 minutes he had the lights back where they should be.

“Thank you,” you said, walking beside him as he carried your ladder back to the shed. “Would you like some hot chocolate to warm up?”

He hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Sure. That sounds nice.”

It was at the same spot near your front door where you fell earlier that you slipped again, this time on instinct you reached out and grabbed John to keep yourself upright.  His arm came down to wrap around your waist, pulling you towards him to steady you.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice husky as he looked down at you.

You nodded, one hand still clutching his shoulder as you looked up at him.  His arm was still around you and you were pressed against his chest. John moved his gaze down to your mouth as he moved his head a fraction of an inch closer.

You could feel his warm breath against your lips and your eyes were getting ready to slide shut when he was suddenly gone, standing a foot away from you, the cold air a shock to your body where his warmth had just been.  He tucked his hands in his pockets and turned, walking back towards his house.  “I think I’m going to skip on the hot chocolate,” he said, not looking back at you.  You stood on the patio shivering until he went inside his own house.

You weren’t sure if you were going to cry or scream as you quickly made your way inside.  One thing was for sure, you were going to stay away from the Winchesters, no matter how wonderful Sam and Dean were.   You had your heart broken before. You weren’t doing it again.

 


	5. Snowman & Reindeer

“Dad this doesn’t look like a reindeer,” Dean said, staring in the mirror at his brown pants and sweater and the construction paper antlers taped to his ears. “I look stupid.  This is stupid.”

“Dad why can’t I dress up like Dean? I want to be a snowman!” Sam said, tugging on John’s pants.

“Stop it.  Both of you.  Sam, Dean’s dressing up for a school play. You don’t need a costume.   Dean, your costume is fine,” John said.

“I want to be a snowman.  I’m going to ask Y/N to make me a snowman!” Sam declared, grabbing his scarf.

“Maybe she can make me a reindeer costume!” Dean said, suddenly excited as he grabbed his coat and joined his brother at the door.

“You are not going over there,” John snapped. “Y/N is just a neighbor. You two don’t need to keep bothering her. Dean your reindeer is good enough.  Sam, for the last time you do not need a costume.”

“She said we weren’t bothering her and we could come over when we wanted,” Sam said in a small voice.  “I like her.”

“I know you do son,” John replied, his voice softer.

“So why can’t I ask her to make me a snowman?” Sam asked, holding his brother’s torn paper antlers.

“Because I said so,” John said.

“Everyone else has cool costumes their mom made. Why can’t I ask Y/N for help!” Dean yelled, stomping his foot.

“Because she’s not your mom!” John roared, spinning around on his oldest son.

“No.  My mom’s dead,” Dean replied, throwing his sweater on the floor and running up the stairs, the bedroom door slamming a moment later.

Sam looked at his dad with big eyes before running upstairs to check on his brother.

John grabbed a beer and sat down on the couch, his head in his hands. He saw the happiness in his sons since meeting you.  While making cookies a couple days ago they all felt like a family again, and with that came the guilt.  There had been women now and then since Mary, but they were all strictly sex.  One night stands and weekend flings. Nobody had made it past his motel bed.  Nobody had met Mary’s sons.

Watching Sam’s grin when you helped him cut out cookie shapes had left him both happy to see his son so happy and angry because you weren’t Mary and you had no right to do her job.

And then there was his own reaction to you.  When you walked up to him to introduce yourself, no shoes on in the cold, he had been overwhelmed with your smile and those incredibly beautiful eyes. He would have had to have been blind to not notice how attractive you were. No big deal, so you were hot. But then when he returned from Bobby’s all cut up you dropped to your knees to clean the slashes on his chest. When was the last time someone had wanted to take care of him?  Everything he discovered about you only made you more attractive. Your tenacity about fixing your own lights when it was extremely dangerous to be on the roof, your gentleness with the boys, the way you softly sang along to the Christmas music playing while you decorated cookie after cookie. You were unlike any woman he had met before.

Yesterday, when your warm body was pressed against him in the cold air, he was overwhelmed with the desire to kiss you.  He could see the want in your eyes and he needed to taste you more than he had needed anything in a long time.

But he couldn’t.  And he wasn’t sure which reason was stronger anymore. The absolute betrayal to Mary by finding someone who he knew would be more than sex to him and a parental figure to the boys, or bringing you into his life and exposing you to the dangers that came with him.  Demons, werewolves, ghosts.  Either way he knew he had to stay away from you.

* * *

 

You grabbed your purse and got out of your car, purposely ignoring looking over at the Winchester’s house.  It had been a long day at work and you were ready for a glass of wine and a warm bath.

Walking to the door you were surprised to see Dean huddled in the corner of your porch, no shoes on and a bed sheet wrapped around his arms.  “Dean! What are you doing out here in the cold? Does your dad know you are here?” you exclaimed, quickly opening your door and pulling him inside.

“No.  I snuck out my window with my sheet. I needed to ask you for help and he said no but you said to come over if we needed you so I came anyways,” Dean said.

“Dean, you can’t sneak out like that. What if your dad finds out you are missing? He would be so scared,” you said, sitting down beside him. “What did you want my help with honey?”

“We have a school play tomorrow and I’m supposed to be a reindeer and dad didn’t know how to make a costume so I’m wearing brown pants and shirt with paper antlers.  Kids are going to laugh at me.   And Sam wants to dress up like a snowman now and wanted your help but dad said we can’t keep bugging you.  I always do what he says,” Dean said, looking up at you with desperation in his eyes. “But I really want a good costume.  Emma is the other reindeer.”

“And who is Emma?” you said, smiling as Dean blushed bright red.

“I will help you make your costume, and we can make Sam one also, but only if I can tell your dad where you are and only if he says it is okay.   It’s not right to run off like that Dean.  Even if you are only going next door.”

Dean nodded, looking down at the floor.   You shook your head and went in your bedroom to grab an old pair of sneakers.  “Here, these are too big but you can’t go back out there with no shoes.”

* * *

 

As you knocked on the door, you silently sighed, so much for your plan to be done with the Winchesters.

John answered, clearly stressed out.  “Y/N,” he said, his voice lower than normal.

“John, before you get mad please let him talk, okay?” you said, moving so John could see Dean standing behind you.

“Dean!” John exclaimed. “What the hell is going on? Get inside right now!”

When Dean opened the door you stepped in with him, laying your hand on Johns’s arm. “Can we talk real fast?”

John studied you for a moment before walking into the kitchen.  You took it as an invitation to follow him. “He came over asking for my help with a costume John.  There’s a girl at school he has a crush on and he’s eager to show off in front of her.  Surely you remember what that’s like for a little boy.”

“He was told not to go over and ask you for help.”

“I understand, and he shouldn’t have snuck out.  But I really don’t mind helping.  Just try and see it from his point of view, please?” you begged.

“You are not their mother.  Stop trying to be!” John exploded, slamming his fist down on the counter. 

“I wasn’t trying to be,” you whispered, eyes wide and tears on your cheeks as you turned and ran past the boys and out the front door.

 


	6. Decorating & Sweaters

After tossing and turning all night you climbed out of bed the next morning hurt, exhausted, and angry.  It was a lesson learned, you really were done with the Winchesters.  You didn’t want to hurt Sam and Dean, but you would not stand there and be yelled at like a child for trying to be their friend. How John could go from almost kissing you to yelling at you for trying to do his son a favor you didn’t understand.

When leaving for work you purposely avoided looking at their house but when you came home you glanced over and saw John’s truck gone.  Sighing in frustration at yourself for even looking, you went inside and ran a warm bath before making dinner.

You were drinking a glass of wine after dinner and trying to read a book when you heard someone knocking on your front door.  You glanced out the window to see Matt, the man who lived across the street, at your door.

“Hey Matt!” you greeted.

“Hi Y/N.  Sorry to bother you.  I won’t keep you, but I ordered these sweaters for, um, Beth before she left and well, I thought maybe you would like them?” he said, holding out a couple cashmere sweaters.

You stepped out on the porch, pulling the front door shut behind you. “I didn’t know Beth left, I’m so sorry.”

Matt shrugged. “Met a guy at work and just took off one day last week.”

You reached out to touch his arm. “Matt I am so sorry! Let me know if you need anything.”

“I will, thanks Y/N.”

Before he could say anything else John pulled in next door, the headlights from his truck illuminating your yard and porch for a moment.    He had a Christmas tree tied to the roof and the boys jumped out right away, carrying bags of what looked like decorations.

John got out slowly, looking at you and then at Matt before slamming his truck door shut, the bang loud in the quiet night.

“What do you know about them?” Matt asked, nodding towards John’s house as the man followed his sons inside.

“Not much. Cute kids. The dad is kinda an ass,” you said with a shrug.

“I thought I saw him over here a couple days ago helping with your lights?”

“I fell off the roof trying to restring them so he offered to finish.”

“I see. So you two aren’t that close?” Matt asked.

“No! Not at all. Why are you asking?” you replied.

“No reason,” he answered, once again looking over at the Winchester’s house.  You followed his gaze to see John was sliding the tree off of his truck.

“Well I’m going to head in,” you said, motioning towards your door. 

“Sure, sure.  What about the sweaters?” he extended the bundle towards you again. 

“No thanks Matt, maybe you can return them.”

He nodded before stepping closer, his hand resting on the side of your house.

“How about dinner tomorrow?” he asked. 

You took a few steps back from him. “I don’t think so Matt.  I’m sorry, but you should go home now.”

“Sorry,” he said, backing up, his voice suddenly sad. “I guess I’m just a mess with Beth and all.”

You gave him a small smile. “Understandable.”

Matt gave you a small wave before leaving.  You looked next door one more time to see John standing at the edge of his driveway watching Matt walk away.

Walking inside you slammed your front door.

* * *

 

“I thought dad was going to help us decorate?” Sam whispered to Dean as they wrapped the final strand of lights around the tree.

“I think he’s upset,” Dean replied.  “Y/N was talking to Mr. Conrad and I think it made dad mad.”

“He yelled at Y/N last night.  Did you hear what he said? He told her she wasn’t our mom,” Sam said.  “But she makes me happy.  And did you see Dad when we were making the cookies? He was happy too Dean.” 

“Want to help me put up a special decoration Sammy?” Dean asked quietly.

“Why is it special?” Sam asked, looking at the small green leaves and berries his brother pulled out of his pocket. 

“It’s called mistletoe.   It’s like magic.  When people are underneath it they have to kiss,” Dean explained, cheeks red as he thought about Emma holding some over his head after the recital last night. “I borrowed it from my friend.  We are going to hang it in the doorway and then when Y/N comes over dad will have to kiss her and then he will be happy again.”

“And she can stay forever!” Sam exclaimed.

“I’m going to put you on my shoulders, you hang it, ok?” he said, handing the plant to Sam.   His brother quickly climbed up on his shoulders and hung the mistletoe. 

“I can’t wait!” Sam said, looking at it.

“Just remember it’s a secret for now.  Don’t tell dad it’s there until Y/N is here and they both are in the doorway.”

“But how will Y/N be here? Dad made her cry,” Sam asked.

“Leave that to me,” Dean replied, grinning.

 


	7. Stockings & Candy

It had been a really long day and the extra hours you agreed to work meant you didn’t get home until after dark.   Ready for a quick meal and bed, you wrapped your scarf around your face and got out of the car. 

You saw headlights and realized John was pulling in next door.  You picked up your pace so you could get inside before the boys saw you, the last thing you felt like doing tonight was having an awkward encounter with John. 

When you reached your front door you stopped, your blood running cold.   Your living room window was busted out, and you could see a light on down the hallway towards your bedroom.

You quickly walked back towards your car, fumbling in your purse for your phone while looking back at the house to make sure nobody was following you out.

“What’s wrong?” John asked, standing in his driveway.

“Someone’s in my house,” you said, hating the fear you heard in your voice as you walked over to him. “My window is smashed and my bedroom light is on.”

He reached into his truck and pulled a handgun out of the console. “The keys are still in the ignition, take the boys inside.”

He was across your yard before you could say anything else.   You grabbed the keys and pushed the boys in the house as quickly as possible, moving to the window so you could see what was happening.   

“I can’t believe you broke her window Dean. Dad’s going to be mad.  Couldn’t you just make up a lie to get her over here?” Sam whispered to his brother as they hung their coats up in the closet.

“That wasn’t me Sam.  I was going to call and ask her for help with my homework,” Dean said, his voice serious. “Someone else did this.”

You watched John come out of your house carrying something, the gun he had pulled from his truck in his other hand.

“Nobody was in there,” he said when he came inside.  “Someone tossed a rock through your window, this was in your living room.”

You looked down at the wet rock in his hand and suddenly you wanted to cry. “Nothing looked stolen?”

“Not that I could see,” he replied.  “Did you smell anything when you first approached the house?”

“Smell anything?” you asked.

“Anything strange? Sulfur?”

You shook your head. “No, I didn’t smell anything.”

“It was probably either someone trying to steal a few Christmas presents or kids causing trouble,” he said.  “I’ll fix the window in the morning and we should call a locksmith just to be safe.  For tonight you can stay here.”

“No, that’s okay.  I’ll be fine at home,” you said, gathering up your purse.  “Thank you for checking it out for me.”

“Y/N! Guess what!” Sam interrupted, jumping in front of you.

You looked down and smiled. “What?”

“I made stockings today! We are going to hang them by the fireplace and get candy and presents from Santa,” he said. “Wanna see?”

“Of course!” you said, letting him take your hand and lead you to the fireplace. “See!”

“These are adorable Sam!” you said, looking at the three stockings.  “What kind of candy do you want most?”

“Marshmallows!”

“You want marshmallows in your stocking?” you asked with a laugh.

“Y/N,” John interrupted. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

You followed him to the kitchen. “It’s fine John. I can put up cardboard for tonight and I’ll get someone to take care of the window tomorrow.  I’ll be fine.”

“I would feel better if you stayed here.   I was out of line the other night. I know you were just trying to help Dean.”

“Its fine,” you said, turning to leave.

John reached out and gently grabbed your arm.  “I’m not good at this apology stuff.  Just stay. If you go home nether one of us will get much sleep tonight.”

“What was with the gun? In your truck?” you asked, nodding towards the gun now tucked into the back of his pants.

“Protection.”

“What do you do for a living? I’ve never seen you go to work, the boys told me you move around all the time, and I saw the gun in the cupboard over the sink when I was babysitting.  I thought that one was for protection.  How much protection do you need? Are you in the witness protection program or something?” you asked.

“I’m a handyman,” he grunted.

You shook your head, knowing you were being lied to.  “Goodnight John.”

He was right behind you when you stepped out of the kitchen.

“STOP!” Sam and Dean yelled at the same time.

You stopped so fast John crashed into you from behind. “What’s wrong?”

“Mistletoe!” Sam said, pointing up at the small plant.

“You have to kiss,” Dean added. 

“Who put that up there?” John demanded, looking up at the plant.

“It doesn’t matter.  You have to kiss,” Dean said again.

“Son it’s a silly tradition,” John replied.

“It’s Christmas magic!” Sam insisted, his hands in fists.

Not wanting to ruin their belief in Christmas magic, you turned and leaned up, brushing your lips across John’s cheek, accidently grazing the corner of his mouth. 

You started to pull back when John’s hand shot out to grab your waist, pulling you against his body, his other hand coming up to cup the back of your neck as he brought his lips to yours in a powerful kiss.   His mouth dominated yours, his tongue seeking entrance right away.  Your eyes slid shut as you opened up to him, ignoring the little voice in the back of your head telling you that you were making a mistake.  Your hands came up to wrap around his neck, your fingers finding the ends of his hair.

He pulled away to give you both a chance to get air, his hands moving to cup your cheeks and a whispered word, so quiet that you couldn’t make it out, passing through his lips as he brought you back to his mouth, kissing you with a bruising force.

When he pulled away this time, he didn’t let go of your cheeks. “Please stay,” he whispered. “Stay on the couch, I have no ulterior motives for asking.  I just need to know you are safe.”

You looked in the living room to find the boys were gone, presumably they had gone to bed since it was almost midnight.

Turning back to look at the man who held you, you nodded, wondering what you were getting yourself into.

 


	8. Gift Exchange & Egg Nog

Rolling over to face the back of the couch, you sighed for what felt like the millionth time.  You had been sitting there wide awake for over an hour already and you knew sleep wasn’t coming anytime soon.

After you agreed to stay, John had released you from his embrace and quickly made you up a bed before saying goodnight and heading upstairs.  It was a sudden change from the passionate kiss you had shared just prior to that. You weren’t sure what to make of that kiss.  Did he regret it? Was he waiting on you to make the next move?

You gave up sleeping and made your way to the kitchen.  The t-shirt and sweats John gave you to sleep in smelled like him and you found yourself snuggling into them as you searched through his cabinets for alcohol.

The man had an entire cabinet full of boxes of salt but the only alcohol you found was an open carton of rum eggnog in the fridge.  You took a large drink, but could tell right away the alcohol content was weak.  Sighing, you returned it to the shelf.

Walking back to the living room, you lingered under the mistletoe. Was it really only two hours ago that John had taken you in his arms and kissed you like you had never been kissed before?

It was all you could think about.  You craved it. _Him_.  Another kiss. It had been a long time since you had been touched, and John’s hands had lit a fire in your body that wasn’t going out. 

Biting your lip, you made what you knew might be a really dumb decision.   Taking the stairs two at a time you quickly walked past the boys rooms to the bedroom in the back.  Your hand lingered on the doorknob and you took a deep breath.  This was want you wanted tonight, consequences be damned.

You opened the door and slid into the dark room, shutting it behind you. John sat up right away, and by the tone of his voice you could tell he hadn’t been asleep either.  “Sam?”

“No,” you said, slowly walking over to stand beside the bed.

John looked up at you in the moonlight coming in through the window.  You reached down and grabbed the edge of your borrowed shirt, lifting it up over your head and letting it fall to the floor.

John growled, a deep, animalistic sound, and his hands went around your waist, pulling you down on the bed and rolling you under his body as his mouth found yours. 

His hand trailed up to cup your breast, his thumb teasing at your nipple as you kissed. “John!” you gasped, arching against him.  He ground down against you in response, and you could feel his erection through the boxers he had worn to bed

You pressed on his chest to push him back and he looked at you, clearly confused, until you brought your lips to his jaw, trailing kisses across his neck and shoulders, your fingers working through his chest hair as you kissed his body.  John hissed when you kissed his chest and you giggled.

“That’s funny to you?” he said with a laugh.  “Let’s see how you hold up.”

As soon as he was done speaking he had your body pinned once again and his warm mouth was sucking your breast.  You cried out as you arched and John brought his free hand up to cover your mouth.  “Sshhh, the boys,” he whispered.

You nodded and licked the palm of his hand.  John grinned and brought his mouth back to yours, his kiss slow this time.  His hand drifted into the baggy sweats he had loaned you and trailed across your wet panties.

You moaned into his mouth, raising up to press against his finger.

“Fuck sweetheart,” he muttered. “So wet.”

“Please,” you whimpered. 

John slid down your body as he removed your pants and panties in one movement, his fingers quickly going back to your wet heat as his lips caressed your thigh.  When he slid a long digit inside you, you had to pull his pillow over your face to muffle the way you cried out his name.

“That’s it sweetheart,” he said, his lips kissing closer and closer to your sex as finger continued to work you.  “Let yourself go.”

His lips closed around your clit, gently sucking.  You bit the pillow, your feet digging into his back as you came.  John never let up, working you through your orgasm before releasing you, slowly withdrawing his finger.

When he returned to your lips you licked your slick from his before wrapping your legs around his waist and thrusting up against him, only his boxers in the way.  “John,” you gasped, lost in the moment. “Now.”

“I can’t get enough of your sweet mouth,” he muttered, once again kissing you.

“Please,” you begged, watching as he pulled away to pull his boxers off.

Your hands came down to wrap around his hard cock, gently stroking it.  “Fuck,” he grunted, thrusting in your hand. You moved to try and sit up, wanting to return the favor and taste him.

John pressed against you. “Another time sweetheart. I want to be inside you too much right now,” he said, rubbing against you before slowly sliding inside. 

When he was completely fitted inside you his mouth found yours and you exchanged slow open mouthed kisses until you got impatient and pushed up against him, anxious to feel him moving.

John took the hint and began to  move, making love to you slow and steady as he kissed your lips, your face, your neck, your chest.  His lips closed over your nipple for a moment before returning to your mouth.

You could feel the build of pressure and you moved up to meet him. “Please John, faster.”

He picked up his pace, snapping his hips as he worked you until you exploded, your nails digging into his back as you cried out his name.  He quickly kissed you, trying to muffle your cries.   Your walls clinched around him and he pushed one more time as his own release hit and he bit your neck, filling you, your name falling from his lips.

John stayed inside you until he was soft before rolling on his side and pulling you with him, tucking you against his body. “Are you ok?” he whispered, his fingers trailing across your thigh and down to your sex. 

“Yeah,” you softly replied, snuggling back against him as you felt him gently rubbing your combined release between his fingers and on your clit.

His hand stilled and he rested his head against yours. 

“Should I go downstairs?” you asked.

His arm tightened around you. “No. Why?”

“The boys? In the morning?” you said.

“We will figure it all out then. Now go to sleep,” he replied, brushing a kiss across your hair.

You woke the next morning to find the bed empty.  You heard talking downstairs. Getting up and going into the master bath you saw the clothes you had come over in on the counter. 

Smiling, you took a quick shower, dressed, and made your way downstairs.

“Y/N!” Dean cried, running up to you with his face red.  “Today’s our last day before break and it’s our gift exchange.  I forgot and I don’t have a gift!”

You soothed the hair from his eyes and looked over at John, who smiled at you.

“It’s ok.  I bet we can find something.  Do you have any toys you haven’t played with before?”

“No,” he said, thinking. “I do have a boxing game Uncle Bobby gave me I haven’t opened yet.”

“That works! Go get it and I’ll wrap it up for you.”

Dean ran out of the room and you used the opportunity to wrap your arms around John from behind, breathing in his scent as you buried your face in his back.  His hands came up to rest against your arms. “Coffee?”

“Yes!” you said, letting him go to reach for the cup.

“Morning dad,” Sam said, shuffling in the room, rubbing his eyes.  “Morning mom.”

You froze, looking over at Sam and then slowly turning to look at John.  His face was pale and you could see the pain in his eyes.

Sam grabbed his juice and shuffled into the living room to turn the TV on, unaware of the mistake he had made.

“John….” you said, your voice soft.

“I can take care of Dean’s gift if you want to head to work.   I’ll have your window fixed by the time you get home.”

You moved to reach for his arm, but he shifted, putting the table between you.

“John, please don’t shut me out now.  He mis-spoke.  I have no desire to replace her in their lives.  I just want to be a part of their lives.  Of your life.”

“I’ve never done this before,” he said, gesturing at the room. “It’s been one night stands. I’ve never done a morning after or had Mary’s sons around the women I’ve been with.  I need a chance to think.  We can talk tonight.”

“I’m real. I’m here. Don’t push me aside for a memory John,” you begged, tears on your cheeks.

“I’m not pushing you away,” he yelled. “I’m asking for a chance to think.”

Hot anger burned through you.  “Fuck you John.  You had plenty of time to think before you kissed me, before you slept with me. If I’m not worth talking to right now than I’m not worth talking to at all,” you snapped, grabbing your purse. “I knew I was going to regret last night at some point, but I didn’t know it was going to be so soon.”

You heard him calling your name but you kept going, not stopping until you were in your car.  Hot tears rolling down your face.

 


	9. Family & Dinner

“So let me get this straight.  You find a beautiful woman who likes you and your kids.  A woman who your kids can’t stop talking about.  Who would stitch your wounds and make you dinner.  You sleep with her, and then you chase her out for the memory of a woman who’s been gone almost four years?” Bobby said, taking a swig of his whiskey.

John nodded, staring over his friends head. 

“Idjit,” Bobby muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I loved Mary.  I’m just supposed to move on? Let someone else raise her kids? She wouldn’t want that.”

“That’s exactly what Mary would want! Do you think she wants you to spend the rest of your life alone? Do you think she wants her kids growing up thinking love is something to be avoided?” Ellen demanded, smacking the table. “I never knew Mary, but I’m a mom and a wife.  And if something happens to me I can only hope Bill finds happiness again and someone steps in and raises Jo up right. I want her to know love.”  She reached across the table and took her husband’s hand as she spoke.

“And how do I explain our world to her? How do I tell her I’m a hunter? That demons and ghosts and monsters are real? That I’m seeking revenge for my dead wife?” John said. “She’s better off thinking I’m a liar who fucked her for a good time.  We’ll be gone in a couple days and she’ll forget about us.”

“You are taking the choice away from her!” Ellen said.  “If she cares about you and the boys and wants to be a part of your life it’s her choice. If you tell her and she can’t handle it and leaves at least you gave her the option.”

John glared at Ellen, slumping back in his chair.   When his friends came for their annual “Hunter Family Christmas Dinner”, which consisted of Ellen and Bill’s ham and potatoes, Bobby’s whiskey, and a cherry pie John picked up at the store, he had hoped for a distraction from thinking about you. But since the boys couldn’t stop talking about you to Ellen, Bill, and Bobby, he ended up getting the opposite. 

Not that any of it mattered, after you left yesterday he fixed your window and searched your house one more time, making sure nothing seemed odd.   Then he left you a note asking you to come over and talk to him and went home to wait, trying to figure out what to say.

When he saw you pull in at ten o’clock he waited until midnight before acknowledging you weren’t going to come talk to him.  He tried to sleep in his bed but the sheets smelled like you so he spent a long night doing laundry before crashing for a couple hours in the pre-dawn. 

He was interrupted from his thoughts when Ellen reached out to touch his arm. “I know you loved Mary. You always will.  But you can love again John.  Give her the chance, for you and for the boys.”

He nodded as she stood up and hit Bill’s arm. “Come on guys, time to go. It’s after nine and I promised the babysitter we would be home by midnight.”

* * *

 

“Come in,” Dean whispered, hearing the light tapping on his door that could only belong to his brother.

“They left,” Sam said softly.  “Are you ready?”

Dean nodded, sliding out of bed and grabbing his coat and shoes.  “Where’s dad?”

“He went to the basement,” Sam said. “Hurry up.”

The boys crept downstairs and out the front door.   “Do you think this will work?” Sam asked his older brother.

“I don’t know what he did to make her cry but we have to try,” Dean whispered.

* * *

 

Pulling into your driveway you glanced at the clock in your car and saw it was already ten pm.    Last night you had stayed at work until late and then came home, threw away John’s note, and drank an entire bottle of wine hoping to pass out.  You ended up not sleeping and sitting up all night drunk and miserable thinking about being in John’s arms and the way he made love to you before holding you while you slept.

Tonight you planned to do the same. 

Slipping inside your house, you kicked off your shoes and jumped in the shower before changing into a pair of lounge pants and a hoodie.   Grabbing a glass of wine you sat down on the couch, hugging yourself.   Knowing someone had been in your house still made you feel uncomfortable and the misery over John was making your heart hurt.  How were you supposed to compete with his deceased wife?

The sound of someone knocking on your door startled you and when you looked through the window you saw Matt from across the street.  A glance at the clock told you it was almost midnight and you wondered what he wanted so late.

You opened the door but left the chain on. “Hey Matt, is everything ok?”

You could have sworn you saw his eyes flash black before he kicked your front door open, breaking the chain.   You turned to run but he was on you before you could get out of the living room and when he pulled you against him from behind you felt rather than saw the cold metal blade from his knife against your neck. “Don’t move.”

“Matt…please….what are you doing? Do you want money? Don’t hurt me… okay?” you asked, trying to stay calm.

“Is the poor little human afraid I’m going to rape her?” he tisked in your ear.  “It’s an idea…” His free hand slid across your stomach as he spoke. “But I don’t want sloppy seconds.”

“What do you want Matt?” you said, jumping when you saw the front door slam shut on its own.

“See me and you are going to hang out tonight. Nice and calm, I may even let you finish that glass of wine.  And then bright and early tomorrow you are going to call those boys over.  Once I have them we are gone and you are safe.  I get what I want and you walk away completely unharmed. Deal?”

“Boys?” you asked.

“Do I have to spell everything out for you? The Winchesters.  You will have those snot-nosed brats come over.”

“I’m not going to let you hurt them,” you said, struggling to get out of his grip. 

“You don’t understand,” he said, pressing the knife in your throat and you felt the blood trickle down your neck. “I’m not giving you an option.”

“What did they do to you Matt? They are good kids.”

A light knocking on your backdoor startled the man and while he was distracted you kicked his groin, running for the door and hoping like hell that John had decided to try to apologize again. 

Flinging open the door you saw Sam and Dean standing on the step and you wanted to cry. “Go home!”

“Y/N, we wanted…” Dean started.

“Get out! Now! Get away from here!” you screamed at them, slamming the door shut as Matt rounded the corner. 

“You dumb bitch!” he screamed. “That was them, wasn’t it? You want to do this the hard way? Fine.”

You jumped when the knife he was holding fell to the ground with a loud clatter.  He was on your body in seconds, shoving you against the wall and pinning you there.  His hands were digging against your shoulders painfully and he flashed a wicked grin at you before his eyes turned completely black.  You tried to scream but no sound came out as he threw his head back and opened his mouth.  You wondered what the hell you were seeing as black smoke poured from Matt’s open mouth and you unwillingly breathed it in.

“Well isn’t this a lovely meatsuit?” you heard yourself say as Matt fell to the floor in front of you before everything went black.

 


	10. Snowstorm & Secret Santa

Dean looked at his clock and saw it was almost two a.m.   He couldn’t sleep, the feeling that something had been really wrong with Y/N was bothering him.

Finally he got out of bed and crept to his dad’s bedroom door, gently knocking.  He knew his dad would be mad they snuck out, but if Y/N was in danger then John needed to know.

“Yeah,” he heard his dad say.

“Hey dad, I need to talk to you,” Dean said, coming in the room “Promise not to get mad at Sam. It was all my idea, ok?”

John grabbed his shirt from the floor and slid it on.  It had been another sleepless night thinking about you and the things Ellen had said.  He could easily see himself falling in love with you if he could just stop fighting it.

“What did you do?” he asked his son.

Dean sat down on the edge of the bed. “Sam and I snuck out of the house earlier while you were in the basement.  We went next door to see Y/N.  We were going to ask her to not cry anymore and give her the candy I got in the secret Santa exchange and tell her it was from you.  But when she opened the door she screamed at us both to get out.”

John’s brow furrowed.   He knew you were mad at him, but he couldn’t imagine you would take it out on the boys.

“The thing is, she didn’t look mad, she looked scared.   She had a cut and blood on her neck,” Dean looked up at his dad. “And before the door shut I thought I saw Mr. Conrad.”

John jumped out of bed, grabbing his jeans. “When was this?”

“A couple hours ago,” Dean admitted, looking down again.

“Stay here and keep an eye on your brother,” John said as Dean followed him downstairs.  Grabbing the gun he kept in the cupboard over the sink, he tucked it into his pocket before slipping out the backdoor. 

He had seen Matt bothering you a couple days ago, and there was the broken window, but he was surprised that the man across the street was a threat.  He had seemed pretty mild and quiet the one time John met him and his wife.

Knocking on your back door, he jumped when you answered it quickly. “John, what a pleasant surprise,” you said, your voice slightly rough.

He stepped into the kitchen, looking around the room. “Are you alone?”

You stepped back from him, your hands going up to smooth down your hair. “Of course. Who else would be here?”

“Are you okay?” he asked, taking a step towards you.

* * *

 

You could see John, you could hear what he was saying, but it was like looking through water.   Everything was fuzzy and distorted and no matter what you did you couldn’t speak.  You wanted to scream for him.  To wave your arms, but you didn’t have control over anything.  You could feel your body moving and you could hear your voice talking, but it wasn’t you.   Nothing made sense and you thought maybe you were going insane.

“I’m fine,” you heard your voice say as your body stepped back from him.

You watched John walk through the living room before going back to your bedroom.  “What are you doing?” your voice asked.

“Just looking around,” John replied, opening and closing the bathroom door on his back to the kitchen.

“Well it’s the middle of the night. Why don’t you look around at your own home?”

“Are you sure you are okay? Dean told me the boys were over here and you yelled at them,” John said, walking back into the kitchen.

Your body quickly backed away from him again and you realized whatever was in you didn’t want to get close to him.

“They came over at midnight and I was… preoccupied.  Of course I yelled,” your voice said before softening. “Why don’t you send them over in the morning and I will apologize.  I can make them breakfast.”

John absently nodded his head, still looking around the room.   You panicked, if this thing that was in you wanted the boys you couldn’t let John send them over.   You struggled, using all your energy to push forward.  You had to take control. You had to tell John to take the boys and run.   Something had possessed you and it would use you to harm them.

“Dean said you were bleeding earlier.  He said you had a cut on your throat,” John said, advancing on your body and pushing you against the wall, trapping you as his thumb trailed across the smooth skin of your neck.

You could feel him pressed against you through the haze, and you grasped at that feeling.  At _John_. “John! Get the boys! Leave!” you screamed, realizing your voice had pushed through the distorted water and you had actually spoken.

“Bitch!” the thing in your head growled, pushing you down with greater force.  Before turning to look at the man who stood in front of you. “Well Johnny boy, looks like your girlfriend revealed the big secret early.”

You could hear the surprise and fear in John’s voice. “Get out of her. Leave her unharmed.”

Your hands trailed down your sides as you bit your lip sensually. “I like her.  I may keep her Johnny.”

“Let. Her. Go,” John growled, pulling the gun out and pointing it under your chin.

“Come on.  We both know you won’t shoot her,” your body laughed. “It’s too bad really.  All these innocent people will have died because of you.   The couple across the street.   Your girl here.   You know she’s putting up a good fight though.  Really trying to take control to protect those brats.  She refused to help me under threat of death so I had to steal her meat suit.  Only known them a few weeks and she already loves them enough to die for them.  What is it about those little freaks?”

John let your body go, the gun falling to his side as he took a couple steps back.

You tried to focus your mind, tried to think.  You had managed to take control for a moment. If you could get control again you could get the knife on the counter.  If your body was dead then the thing inside you would surly die, right? 

Your body licked your lips. “You know I can feel her emotions and I can see her thoughts,” the thing said.  “Right now she’s trying to regain control so she can drive that knife through her gut and kill me.”

It cocked your head to the side.  “I’ll never get humans.  So anxious to kill herself to protect a man who will never care about her.”

* * *

 

John was afraid.  It wasn’t an emotion he felt often, and he didn’t handle it well.  All he knew was that he couldn’t lose you.

“Y/N, listen to me,” John said, staring into the beautiful eyes that were no longer yours. “He’s a demon.  I’ll get him out of you.  Trust me sweetheart, I will save you.”

“Trust me sweetheart….” the demon mocked, laughing before his face became serious. “I have my instructions. I’m not to return until I have the Weechesters. We can do it the easy way, or we can do it the hard way.”

John stepped around the kitchen counter.  “Well I don’t plan on letting you out of here with her or my sons,” he said, distracting the demon while he grabbed the small salt shaker you had on the counter.

“Dad!” John dropped the shaker, turning to see Dean run in the back door carrying the black hunter’s bag from the basement.

“What are you doing here? I told you to stay at home with your brother!” John demanded, watching the demon running towards Dean. 

John grabbed the salt shaker, popping the lid off and throwing salt in the demon’s face.  He turned away from the sound of you screaming, reminding himself that it was not you.

“I looked out the window and I saw Mr. Conrad’s body by the shed.  It’s a demon, isn’t it dad?”  Dean exclaimed.

“You are going to pay for that Johnny,” the demon growled as it reached out and grabbed Dean, dragging him against the wall.

“Dean!” John yelled, running over to his bag.

“One brat is better than no brat,” the demon said, winking at Dean.  “Time to go sonny boy.”

John looked up from trying to find the holy water to see the Demon raise your fingers up, ready to snap, before your body doubled over, the demon’s grip on Dean falling away. “Run!” he heard you rasp as you shoved Dean as hard as you could towards John.

“You bitch!” the demon shrieked, regaining control and spinning around.   John was ready, throwing the holy water in the demon’s face.

“Dean, the cross!” John yelled, kicking his bag towards his son while staring at the demon.

“Got it!” Dean cried, handing it to John.

“Now get out!” John told him, tossing more holy water at the demon.

“I’m getting him out of you sweetheart.  Just hold on,” John said before throwing more holy water on the demon and raising the cross.

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas omnis incursio infernalis adversarii. Omnis legio! Omnis con…potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii. Omnis legio! Omnis congregatio et secta diabolica! Ergo, Draco maledicte et omnis……legio diabolica, adiuramus te! Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii. Omnis legio! Omnis congregatio et secta diabolica! Ergo, Draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te!” he chanted as he continued to circle the demon with the holy water.

John held his breath as he watched your head fall back and the smoke rise from your mouth before disappearing down the vent.

He dropped the water and the cross as he ran to where you had fallen to the floor. “Y/N?” he said, gathering you in his arms and standing. “Come on sweetheart. Open your eyes and look at me.   You did it baby, you hung on. You fought him and saved Dean.”

Stepping out in the yard John was shocked to see so much snow on the ground. It had only been an hour since he had made the trip over to your house and already several inches of snow had fallen.  Dean was waiting at the backdoor and opened it to let him in.

“Is she okay?” he asked, tears on his cheeks.

“She hasn’t woke up yet,” John said.  “Go get some blankets.”

John carried you up to his room and placed you in his bed, covering you with the blankets Dean brought. 

“Y/N,” John said softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed and taking your hand. “Come on. Wake up.”

John needed Bobby or Ellen.  He needed to get the body out of your yard and clean up the mess in your house and shut your doors.  He needed someone else to be there and tell him you were going to be okay.  He knew they would come in a heartbeat if they could but with the snowstorm blowing in he was on his own. 

“I love you,” he whispered, brushing the hair off your forehead as he squeezed your hand.

“Dad, I’m scared.  Shouldn’t she wake up now?” Dean asked. “What if the demon hurt her when she took control to save me?”

“She just suffered a major shock son.  She’ll wake up,” John said, hoping he was right.

 


	11. Baking & Christmas Eve

It had been several hours and you had not woken up yet.  Your pulse was strong and John could tell you were breathing fine, you just wouldn’t wake up no matter how much he and the boys tried to talk to you.

Talking to both Ellen and Bobby on the phone they agreed you were most likely in shock and would wake up when your body was rested.  He hoped they were right. 

Around noon Dean made broth and they tried to get you to drink some but you wouldn’t swallow.   John made the boys leave the room as he changed your clothes, putting you in a fresh pair of his sweats and a t-shirt. 

Several more hours of silence passed.  John wouldn’t leave your side and the boys alternated between sitting on the bed beside you and sitting on the floor.   He tried several times to get them to go downstairs or to their rooms, but they didn’t want to leave you either.   Sammy thought you were sick but Dean knew the truth and John could see the guilt in his oldest son’s face.

He waited until Sam went to get some water before turning to Dean. “This isn’t your fault.”

“She was trying to save us.  Me,” Dean said, angrily wiping the tears from his face and leaving the room.

Glancing at the clock John saw it was now after midnight.  Officially Christmas Eve.  The body in your backyard needed to be taken care of before someone else saw it. And most likely Matt Conrad’s wife’s body was across the street in their home.

Dean was asleep in the bed next to you and John shook him awake. “I have to go take care of the mess son.  If she wakes up you send Sam to get me and don’t let her out of your sight.  Okay?”

Dean nodded.   After John left the room he rolled over on the bed and took your hand.  “Come on Y/N.  Wake up.  For us.   And for dad.”

John took care of the bodies before going back to your house and cleaning up the dried salt water on your floors.   He found a small bag in your closet and packed up some of your clothes and your toothbrush, hairbrush, and make up bag. When you woke up he wasn’t letting you out of his sight for a long time.

“Well?” he asked, entering the bedroom and finding you still asleep and Dean sitting next to you. Dean shook his head.

John was exhausted.  The last night he had slept was the night he held you in his arms.  He was physically tired from burying the bodies and he was emotionally beat.  “I’m going to go take a shower son and then why don’t you go get some sleep in your bedroom.”

After his shower and sending Dean to his room, John curled up in beside you in bed.  He wanted to hold you but it felt wrong since you were unaware.  He settled for grasping your hand in his as he studied your face until he fell into a restless sleep.

It was the feel of you shifting just before dawn that woke him up.  “Y/N?” he whispered, sitting up and looking down at you, his hand soothing the hair from your brow. “Come on baby, wake up.”

You slowly opened your eyes, glancing around the room before landing on John.

* * *

 

“John?” you said, your voice dry.

“Y/N,” he rasped, his voice thick with emotion. “Are you okay?”

“Thirsty…” you whispered.

John jumped up and went to the bathroom, coming back with a cup of water.  As you sat up and drank it he sat down in a chair that had been pulled up next to the bed.

“Is Dean okay?”

John reached out and took your hand. “He’s okay. Worried about you.”

“What time is it?” you asked.

“It’s almost 8am on the 24th,” he answered. “You’ve been asleep for an entire day.”

“Matt? Is he….”

“Yes. I’m sorry.  The demon didn’t leave him alive,” John replied.

“What was that? What happened?” you asked.

“It’s time I told you the truth Y/N,” John said. “The truth about who I am.”

* * *

 

You glanced at the clock and saw several hours had passed while John told you everything.  About demons, ghosts, monsters, werewolves and vampires.  About his career as a hunter.  About Mary and how she was killed.   

“You are taking this better than I expected,” John remarked after answering the questions you had.  “I thought you would run out of here screaming by now.”

“If I had heard this three weeks ago I probably would have.  But that was before I was possessed by a demon.  That was before I met you and the boys,” you explained. “It all sounds crazy to me, but after what happened to me how can I not believe it? And after you and Dean saved me how can I not believe you?”

“This should never have happened to you.   You were put in danger because of us,” he said, grasping your hand harder.

“And you saved me.  That’s what counts.  I love those little boys John. I know I’m not Mary, and I have no desire to replace her in their eyes, but I love them. I would have died to protect them and I’d do it again.”

John looked away, his eyes settling on the wall above your head. “I am sorry I yelled at you about not being their mother.  It wasn’t right.”

You laughed, the sound like music to his ears after the last twenty four hours. “You are right, you suck at apologizes.  Eye contact is important. But it’s okay John.  I understand.”

Before he could say anything else your stomach rumbled, the sound filling the room.

John laughed. “Let’s get you something to eat.   And wake the boys up so they know you are okay. They’ve been by your side this whole time.  I finally had to force them to bed.   Dean knows what happened, he knows about everything, but Sam only thinks you were sick.”

“Let me get a shower first,” you said, slowly getting out of bed.  You took a step forward and stumbled, not realizing how sore your muscles were. 

John caught you, pulling you against his body. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just a little sore.  A hot shower will help,” you said.

John helped you into the bathroom and started the hot water. “I brought you a bag of clothes from your place, I’ll leave it on the counter for you,” he said as he started to leave the room.

“John?”

“Yes?” he said, turning to face you.

You bit your lip. “I don’t want to fall down in the shower.”

John looked at you. “Y/N?”

“Do I have to spell it out? I want you to take a shower with me.  Naked. In the water,” you said with a grin.

John stared at you for a moment. “After what you learned? What happened?”

“I’m in love with you John Winchester. All of you. The man, the father, the broken widower, and the hunter,” you said, your cheeks red. “After what I just went through I really, really need a physical reminder that I am alive and I am me.  So why don’t you help me out with that?”

John moved slowly, his hands coming up to hold your face. “Are you sure?”

You leaned up to capture his lips with yours in response.   John backed you into the bathroom wall as he kissed you back.

Finally you broke away. “Shower…” you whispered against his neck.

John moved back and pulled his shirt off before stepping out of his sweatpants.   You quickly did the same and stepped under the hot water, pulling him in with you.

You closed your eyes, letting the warm water relax your muscles.   You felt John running his fingers through your hair before he reached for the shampoo and began washing it.  You sighed in contentment and leaned against his body as he washed and rinsed your hair before grabbing the soap and washing your back and your shoulders.

You gasped as his soapy hands wrapped around you from behind to wash your breasts.  He gently took them in his palms, massaging them as his lips found the side of your neck.  “John,” you muttered, spinning in his arms to kiss him. “Now. No time to play.”

He nodded before lifting you in his arms and pressing you against the shower wall.  His fingers went between your legs and when he felt how slick you were he took his cock in his hand and pressed into you.

You cried out when you felt him, your head back against the tile as the water beat down on you.   You dug your heels into his ass in an effort to get him moving. “Please!”

John snapped his hips and you cried out.   He did it again, loving the sounds he was dragging from your lips.  Finding a rhythm, he began thrusting, his fingers digging into your thighs as he held you up. You scratched at his back, your arms wrapped around his neck.

John moved forward to capture your lips with his as he worked your body. “Feels so good baby,” he said.

Knowing both his hands were busy holding you up, you took one of yours away from his neck and let it trail down between you, rubbing at your clit as he continued to move.  John pulled away from your mouth so he could look down and watch. “Oh fuck…” he said, his movements becoming sloppy. “Fuck…”

You looked up and watched his face as he came, the way his mouth fell open and his eyes rolled.  You followed, clinching around him as your orgasm ran through your body.

John gently placed you on your feet in the shower, his body trapping you against the wall as he lips met yours in a lazy kiss.

“I love you John,” you said, resting your hand against his cheek.

John looked in your eyes, wondering why it had been so easy to say when you were asleep but when you were awake and in front of him he choked on the words. 

The knocking on the bathroom door startled you both and John turned to shut the shower off, missing the look of sadness on your face.

“Dad! Dad!” Dean yelled through the door. “Y/N is missing!”

You both quickly dried off and dressed. “She’s in here with me son. We will be out in a minute.”

“What are you doing in there dad?” Sam asked.

“Just making sure she’s not still sick,” John answered as you blushed red. “Go wait downstairs and we will be down in a moment.”

After you heard their feet running down the stairs you both started laughing.   Taking his hand in yours you left the room. 

The minute you hit the bottom stair you were almost knocked over by the warm body running into your arms. “Y/N! Do you feel better?” Sam asked.

“Much,” you said. “Thank you for helping take care of me.”

Once Sam stepped back you sat down on the stairs and opened your arms.  Dean quickly moved into your embrace, his little arms tight around your neck. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Don’t be Dean. It’s not your fault honey. I’m okay and it’s Christmas Eve and that means we need to have some fun.”

He pulled back and you reached up to wipe the tear from his cheek.  “Now let’s go see what your dad is making for lunch, because I’m hungry.” He took your hand and followed you into the kitchen.

After a lunch of grilled cheese and soup you all settled in and watched a movie.  It was peaceful, curled up on the couch with Dean tucked into one side while John sat on your other side, Sam sitting in his lap. 

After the movie you left the boys in the living room and followed John into the kitchen to get some more popcorn. “Should I go home?” you asked. “I don’t know what your Christmas plans are but I don’t want to be in the way.”

He quickly wrapped his arms around you. “I want you to stay. Tonight and tomorrow and however long you want to. I don’t want to let you out of my sight right now.”

You gently kissed him as the boys ran into the room.  “Yay! She’s staying!” Sam cheered.

“Alright you two.  What do you want to do?” you asked, ruffling his hair.

“Can we bake brownies?” Dean asked.

“Baking brownies sounds lovely. We can leave some for Santa to eat tonight,” you said as they cheered.   You looked up and saw John watching, a smile on his face. 

You really did love this man and his kids, no matter what.  Your silently made your Christmas wish, that he would fall in love with you too.

 


	12. Surprise & Christmas

“It’s after midnight, I’m sure they are asleep by now,” you said after the movie was over.

“Probably, I haven’t heard any moving around or talking for the last hour,” John replied.

“Are the gifts all wrapped?”

“No,” he said sheepishly, “With everything going on…”

“I’ll help,” you said, wrapping your arm around his waist and leaning up to kiss him gently.

“Are you sure you don’t have Christmas plans? No family parties?” John asked, his arms tight around you.  He didn’t want you to spend a moment away from him, but he also knew if you had a family Christmas you had to go.

“No, my family is scattered all over the country so we only get together once a year, this year it was at Thanksgiving.  My parents are visiting family on the west coast for Christmas.   My plans were to stay home with a good book, so this is much better.  Now where are those gifts?”

“They are in the garage,” he said, nodding towards the side door.  “You haven’t met my girl yet, have you?” he said with a grin, opening the garage door to reveal a gorgeous Chevrolet Impala. “She’s parked for the winter.”

You ran your hands over the black steel. “John, she’s amazing!”

He grinned and opened the backdoor, pulling out the presents he had for the boys.

You spent the next hour or so wrapping gifts and placing them under the small tree, really excited to see how the boys react in the morning.  This would be the first Christmas they had spent in a home with a tree, gifts, and Santa.   Earlier you had sent John over to your house to raid your fridge and you were going to make a roast for your Christmas dinner.

After sharing the brownies and milk left out for Santa the two of you made your way upstairs where you made love once again before falling asleep in his arms, happy.

* * *

 

“Dad! Y/N ! Wake up!” you heard just seconds before two warm bodies bounced over you on the bed, waking you up.

Beside you John sat up, his eyes wide. “Huh…”

“Get up! Santa came! Santa came!” Sam chanted, dancing around the room.

Glad you had slipped into a tank top and a pair of John’s boxers before falling asleep, you glanced at the clock and saw it was 6 am.  You wanted to curl back up and sleep for a couple more hours but John was already climbing out of bed.

“What do you think, gifts or breakfast first?” he asked, leaning over the bed to kiss you. 

‘Mmmmm… Shower, eat, gifts,” you replied.

“Torture them a little. I like it!” he said with a wink before walking downstairs to start breakfast while you got in the shower.

When you were done you switched places and finished helping the boys make pancakes and eggs.   They could barely eat, staring at the presents under the tree. 

You poured a second cup of coffee as John walked up behind you, wrapping his arm around your waist.  “What’s that smile for?” he asked.

“This,” you replied, watching the boys.  “I’m blissfully happy.”

“Good,” he said, kissing your temple before walking into the living room.

After all the gifts were opened and the boys were playing with their new car track, John sat down next to you on the couch, handing you a small envelope. “I’m sorry it’s not wrapped, I just got it back about twenty minutes ago. Boys, this is for you also. It’s for all of us.”

The boys gathered around as you opened the envelope and looked at the computer printout inside.  You felt the tears gathering in your eyes and begin falling on the paper.

“Y/N, what is it?” Dean asked.

“It’s a lease,” you said, looking up at John as you spoke. “Your dad had a new lease made to stay in this house for a year.”

“You mean we aren’t moving after Christmas?” Dean exclaimed as Sam started jumping up and down. “We have a home!”

“The boys can stay in the same school,” he explained. “And I can go out on a hunt and come home to the woman I love.”

“John….” you whispered, clutching the paper between your hands.

“I love you Y/N.   When your lease is up I would love for you to move in here with us, but if you aren’t ready at least we will be next door to each other.”

“I love you too John,” reaching up to kiss him.

“Hey Y/N?” Dean said.

You pulled away from John to look at him.

“I love you also,” he said shyly.

You looked over at John, afraid of his reaction, only to see him smiling.

“I love you too Dean.  Both of you,” you answered, wrapping both boys in your arms.

 


End file.
